Tuesday, February 7, 2006

On the Road Again - Iowa

Well, today I took another state off my "50 States In the Union To Visit" list. Tonight when Kyla and I were shipping back the promotional materials to JMS, we had to take them to the Fedex/Kinko's in Iowa. Iowa is a lot like South Dakota, which is a lot like Nebraska, which is a lot like Washington State. Of course Kyla was hungry (lol) and we decided to have Mexican food for dinner. We wound up at a restarant called "Pancho O'Reilly's (WTF???) or something silly like that...I can't remember the exact name, I just know it was a combination of a Mexican name and an Irish one. So like I said earlier...the black people in these towns are very scarce...So imagine my surprise when our waitress turns out to be (Drum roll please.....) African....I mean AFRICAN...from the freaking Ivory Coast!!! She was even wearing one of those awful frosted porcupine-y wigs that the immigrants seem to love. Her name was Stella and she was an absolute doll (Dark chocolate with absolutely flawless skin). She came to Iowa to go to college (again...WTF????) and just never left. Anyway, after having an absolutely ghastly meal (I will be farting for the REMAINDER OF MY FUCKING LIFE!!! Off of whatever the hell that was I was eating)and liquorless margarita's (I swear...if they put a quarter of a shot in those drinks...you can have my first born), we haul ass back to our truck (It's VERY COLD and beginning to snow) and head back to the hotel. I go back to my beloved jacuzzi and IT'S STILL COLD!!!! I am so bummed and to top it all off......

ALL I CAN GET HERE IS RERUNS OF FLAVOR OF LOVE!!!! They are still running the first episodes and I am fiending for my weekly fix.

In the words of Miss Vida Boheme (Patrick Swayze's character in "Too Wong Foo"...in case you don't know):

WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS????

BTW....Kyla is hungry again.

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