Wednesday, January 18, 2006

American Idol

Alright! I have been permanently stuck in my recliner for the last two nights watching the American Idol preliminaries......and I gotta say....although I don't particularly care for Simon Cowell (I don't believe in taking away peoples hopes....you never know...it might be all that they have) but he is generally dead on when he comments on their vocal ability. I don't know if I could have sat through those auditions without being insulting myself. AS a singer myself...I gotta ask...WHAT ON EARTH ARE SOME OF THESE FOLKS THINKING ABOUT??????

Why would you do this:

Show up for an audition singing "New York, New York" dressed as the friggin' Statue of Liberty????? Are you really surprised that you got about three notes out before they stopped you?? HELLO???? NO ONE is gonna take you seriously.

OR

Show up in your police officer uniform and play yourself by singing the chorus of "I Shot The Sheriff" er...7 times cuz you don't know the rest of the words....Did you just find out about the audition yesterday????

OR

The sweaty, stinky, dirty looking guy in the nasty t-shirt & sweat pants who went first on Tuesday and actually convinced them to let him come back a few hours later and try again. We won't even talk about the singing part...this is what gets me...You were the FIRST ONE on line...which says to me that you stood outside at LEAST 48 hours (probably longer), so you DID have some time to think about this..AND THAT'S WHAT YOU CHOSE TO WEAR????? Um...you want to be a star....but you don't take the time to DRESS for the audition?????

OR

You're about to be homeless for the SECOND time but your family has enough money for T-Shirts that spell out your name???? On the real tip...this girl could actually sing! (just goes to show you that the hard luck story will get you in almost every time).

OR

You are an entrepreneur....but you can't even say the word. AND you come up with a company slogan that's so complicated YOU can't even say it????

OR

Dave, The Clearly crazy guy that they took at the end of yesterday's show...the one who had ADD and couldn't be still for 30 seconds....WTF?????

Or the extremely confident young man who sang Alicia Keys Fallin' and just destroyed (and I don't mean that in a good way) it. Three words: KNOW YOUR GIFT.

AND

Was it me or was the little cowboy who has never been off the farm or on a plane...just a little er...slow or something???? That nervous laugh was wearing me out!

Also, how many times and ways can you butcher "Lady Marmalade"???? Apparently, not enough.

PEOPLE!!!!! Let the above be a lesson to you....most of us only get ONE Shot at our 15 minutes....Preparation is EVERYTHING.

Just my two cents.

On another note...I gotta say this...The comment that Simon made to the young man with the glasses and the beard..."Shave off the beard and become a female impersonator"....Disturbed me to no end....That young man's entire family should have been waiting outside to whip his ass to the tenth power. How can you possibly think that it is okay to say that in front of 39 MILLION PEOPLE?????? That child has to live with that shit for the rest of his life....someone will pull that tape out every time he goes somewhere. I was saddened that the AI people didn't see fit to omit that comment in the editing room....completely unnecessary. Completely.

Some disgruntled contestant is going to try and shoot or seriously injure Simon....mark my words. Remember The Jenny Jones show...okay?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cracking the fuck up!

Anonymous said...

You got that right!!

Chemi Che-Mponda said...

Sharon,

You;re so right about Simon. Last year an angry contestant actually threw Simon's glass of water on him. The dude was arrested but Simon didn't press charges.

Some of the things he says are downright mean and could even lead someone to suicide.

Now the comment he made about Mandisa and needing a bigger stage was uncalled for. She said that she was hurt but she made peace with him.

But he neds to be careful because someone may really snap and do something to him.